Travel

Jimmy Donaldson Just Pissed Off the Gods of Chichén Itzá… and Mexico’s Clown Show Government

Jimmy Donaldson MrBeast Vs Secretaría de Cultura

Jimmy Donaldson AKA MrBeast Just Pissed Off Mexico’s 4T Government (And Their Imaginary Gods).

 

So Mexico’s Ministry of Culture—aka the clowns from the 4T’s second floor—is threatening to sue Jimmy Donaldson (MrBeast), the biggest YouTuber in history, over his “scientific documentary” about Chichén Itzá, Calakmul, and Balamcanché…

Ridiculous.

Let me break it down:

MrBeast visited Chichén Itzá, one of the most AWFUL “vacation” spots I’ve traveled to. It turns out that my mysterious back rash wasn’t an allergy from the cochinita pibil’s purple onions… it was BED BUGS.

BED. BUGS.

León Guanajuato’s flea markets don’t have bed bugs!

Back then (more than 20 years ago), the only way to arrive to the archaeological ruins was via disgusting, dirty buses —worse than Mexico City’s extinct Ruta 100.

A total scam.

Everybody (but Mexican Ministry of Culture) loves Jimmy Donaldson MrBeast
20 years ago, I got bed bugs visiting Chichen Itzá hahaha.

The heat? Whatever. We’ve all known about global warming since the ‘80s (thank you very much, Donald Trump, for making fun of it).

But waking up covered in itchy bites?

Thanks for nothing, Maya gods!

Had I bought an “I Went to Acapulco and All I Got Was This Shitty T-Shirt” merch, mine would say:

“I Went to Chichén Itzá and All I Got Were These Shitty Bed Bug Bites.”

 

Dear Luisito Comunica: I’ve never watched your videos, but please go ASAP and check if Chichén Itzá’s buses are now as clean and fresh as Cancún’s ( I doubt it). I haven’t visited Cancún since I read about the kid who lost his leg—and life—at Xcaret’s pool (Xenses Park). Did the 4T even fine the owners?

Teotihuacán was sooo gorgeous, but now it’s too far away to visit every other weekend. I need MrBeast helicopter…

Chichén Itzá? Overpriced, ugly, hot, and you can’t even climb the one pyramid. I sincerely congrat MrBeast for “bribing” his way in.

Even my mom hated Chichen Itzá:

And back then, do you remember? we entered where a relic was, which they no longer let you in, unless you’re Mr. Beast hahaha 😂 and it smelled like  armpit, almost impossible to bear.

 4T’s Priorities: Clown Edition

Instead of solving Valeria Márquez’s murder, little Fátima’s case, or 12 year old Mateo’s killing by a monster named Christian Augusto Jafet Gómez Villalpando, they’re crying over a YouTube heavily EDITED video.

Classic distract-the-masses move.

 

Pro tip for Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo minions:

 

Maybe?

1. Fix the feminicides,

2. water shortages, and

3. actual crimes,

before whining about gentrification, white privilege, American colonialism, acuracy of the scientific documentaries posted in MrBeast Youtube Channel (395 millions subscribers so far!).

 

Open Letter to MrBeast

 

Dear Jimmy Donaldson:

Glad you survived Mexico!

We love you so much 🙂

Next time, skip the tourist traps and just:
– Feed our hungry kids (since the government won’t).
– Dig wells (since my government can’t provide water).
– Invite me to Singapore, where officials don’t harass tourists? Do they?

P.S. If you really wanna troll the Mexican Ministry of Culture, buy all of their buildings and turn them into Chicken Pizza pyramids (local joke).

🎤 Mic Drop

 

#LeaveMrBeastAlone!!!

 

He’s out here doing YOUR job while you’re busy trying to sue content creators over memes.

Wyndham Alltra Vallarta Resort: Our Girls’ Trip

Mi hija y yo en el Wyndham Alltra Vallarta | Reseña Viaje familiar a Riviera Nayarit. My daughter and I at the Wyndham Alltra Vallarta resort review Family trip to Riviera Nayarit

Wyndham Alltra Vallarta Resort: Our Girls’ Trip & Honest Review

Lee en español mi reseña sobre el Wyndham Alltra Vallarta.

Thanks to my friend Sandra Guerrero Moreno from GM Travel, we had the incredible opportunity to visit the Wyndham Alltra Vallarta all inclusive resort. If you’re looking for family vacations or a girls’ trip in Riviera Nayarit, keep reading my review and visit Mexico!

Reseña de mi viaje de familia de tres generaciones disfrutando en el hotel Wyndham Alltra Vallarta resort, Riviera Nayarit. Reseña de la escritora mexicana Jéssica de la Portilla Montaño. Review of my three-generation family trip to the Wyndham Alltra Vallarta hotel in Riviera Nayarit. Review by Mexican writer Jéssica de la Portilla Montaño.
¡Un inolvidable viaje de chicas de tres generaciones en el Wyndham Alltra Vallarta! Celebrando el Día de las Madres en la Riviera Nayarit.

Location

This resort is strategically located in Riviera Nayarit, right between Nuevo Vallarta and Punta Mita. Although officially listed in Nuevo Vallarta, its location is perfect for exploring the best of the Nayarit coast.

Our Girls’ Trip to Wyndham Alltra Vallarta

GM Travel found a May 10th promotion that made us super happy. We took the opportunity for a genuine “girls’ trip”! My daughter and I celebrated Mother’s Day, and my mother celebrated it twice with us.

What We Loved About Wyndham Alltra Vallarta

Through GM Travel, we had previously experienced the Krystal chain and their all-inclusive concept (buffet, open bar, and specialty restaurants). Although I miss my low-calorie pancakes, the breakfasts at Wyndham, with hot cakes, waffles, and handmade cinnamon rolls, were the best I’ve tasted in years.

I definitely preferred the Wyndham Alltra Vallarta. Maybe I’m easily impressed since I rarely go on vacation (I’m the type who’d only travel if I could teleport directly to my destination, haha, I’m a Taurus and perfectly happy just lounging at home all day, every day). But this all-inclusive hotel in Riviera Nayarit truly surprised me.

Features of Wyndham Alltra Vallarta

  • The open bar wasn’t limited to just a few cocktails, unlike what happened at Krystal Los Cabos; here, the variety was excellent! My favorites are “ojo rojo / cielo rojo” (Cuban micheladas with and without Clamato) and “chango sucio” (I don’t know what’s in it, but it tastes like chocolate ice cream).
  • The atmosphere was much calmer; there wasn’t the constant noise from activities, which allowed for genuine relaxation.
  • My room, without being upgraded to VIP, had a shower, a hydromassage tub, and a bathtub. Of course, I didn’t have time to use anything but the shower, but the detail is appreciated!

We had a wonderful time, strengthening our friendship with Sandra and Carlos, and enjoying my first beach vacation with my mom in 9 years, even without my grandma.

My Restaurant Dress Code Anecdote

My only “complaint” (and it’s more of a funny anecdote) was that I didn’t bring shoes, just my Crocs (not the yellow submarine ones). When we arrived at the Mediterranean specialty restaurant (Taverna Mezze), the hostess gave me a 10-minute grace period, which one understands as being able to enter until 8:10 if your reservation is at 8. But no! You had to be there at 7:50. Okay, and that beach sandals weren’t allowed in a beach restaurant…

I went to Sandra’s room to borrow her shoes, and when I returned, the same employee gave me a sour face because she had already seated everyone at a five-person table (according to her, I told her I wasn’t coming back). And that she couldn’t do ANYTHING about it because, oh, her restaurant was more empty than full! And it was impossible to add a chair to the table.

I wasn’t going to eat anyway because I was super full, but I found it ridiculous to have such a strict dress code (I’m omitting the expletives) at beach hotels. It’s not like going to Califa de León, where I’m sure they’d let me in with my Crocs despite their Michelin stars.

So, my mom and daughter went down to the buffet with me. Afterwards, our friends showed up because they hadn’t filled up 🤣 and their son hadn’t eaten anything at all. And it seems all the people who were in the half-empty specialty restaurant ended up at the buffet to fill their bellies 🤣🤣🤣. A funny anecdote from our trip to Wyndham Alltra Vallarta!

Have you visited Wyndham Alltra Vallarta or any other all-inclusive resort in Riviera Nayarit? Share your experience in the comments!

Read my latest text about the new HBO Max series: Chespirito not in purpose review in English and or Spanish (Chespirito sin querer queriendo reseña).